My wife prefers her family to me, what should I do?
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You may live with your husband's family or even be far away from them, but your husband always prefers his family to you and values them more. Unfortunately, in some cultures, even after marriage, a man must take care of his parents and siblings as a priority and even give them more importance than his wife. In this situation, instead of getting angry, quarreling or fighting with your husband, you can think about taking steps to balance your life.
The counselors of the Avije telephone family counseling center have investigated this issue and have written solutions to deal with a husband who prefers his family to his wife. If you are also tired of this situation and want to be your wife's priority, then don't miss reading this article.
Strategies to deal with a husband who prefers his family to his wife
You can use the following strategies to balance your life.
Acknowledge your husband's strong relationship with his mother
Most sons have a strong relationship with their mothers. Some men limit this relationship after marriage. But some others cannot reduce the dependence on the mother. If your wife has to talk to her mother every day or visits her several times a week, don't be upset. Never blame him or say that you are upset with his behavior. Showing sensitivity can make things worse. So try to accept the fact that boys are very mommy.
Plan a trip for two
You may have had to accept the company of your parents or siblings in all your travels. This can be really annoying. So get to work. Tell your husband if you travel twice a year, one with his family and the other with your children. Choose a destination with your children and husband and make a travel plan. In this situation, you can have fun with your wife in a place where her family is not present and do the activities you like.
Set a budget
If you see that most of your husband's income is spent on his family, if they themselves have a good financial situation and you face financial problems at the end of the month. Plan a family budget with your husband. This budget determines how much should be for your own family and how much can help your spouse's parents. Tell him that he has to answer the necessary expenses of his family. He is responsible for the provision and welfare of the family. So he should not run away from this responsibility. By setting a budget, your husband can no longer prioritize his family.
Reduce relative visits
Is your home like a caravanserai where relatives come in without even a phone call and expect you to prepare the best for them? In this situation, the husband does not realize the pressure on his wife and does not know that he has ruined his life. So try to talk to your wife. Tell him to have weekends for such meetings. Define your boundaries and talk to relatives politely and respectfully about your work and conflicts. Ask them to inform you before coming to your house or have a two-way trip.
Take care of yourself
Remember that not caring about yourself will make others not care and value you. So try to put yourself first. Exercise, take care of your appearance and make time for fun. This will make your wife care about you and realize that you also have needs and desires.
Make him aware of his extreme behavior
Your spouse's brother or sister may have fallen ill. Your husband visits her twice or more every day and neglects to take care of the children. For example, your son may have a math test and the crying of your little girl does not allow you to take care of your son. In this situation, the presence of your wife is strongly felt. But he is not paying attention to his family's affairs. He may do this behavior unconsciously and out of concern. So talk to him about his extreme behavior. Ask him to strike a balance between you and his family. For example, he can help your son today when he has an exam and visit his brother or sister tomorrow. This can make you become his priority.
Put your family first
If your husband prefers his family over you. You also prefer your family over him. Include your parents in your family vacation and when she buys her gifts, buy them for her. Spend as much time with your parents as your husband or visit your brothers and sisters. But don't do it out of revenge or to get back at him. Instead, think of it as a way to fill the time when your husband is unavailable by surrounding yourself with people you love.
This will help your partner to understand how much his behavior was hard to bear and hurt you. By repeating his behavior, you have acted like a mirror that reflects his behavior and he can see his own faults.
Share your feelings
Healthy and honest communication is the key to solving any relationship problem. Your husband may not even know that you feel that he is choosing his family over you. What he does comes naturally to him. Your spouse may not understandHow much he has harmed you with this behavior. So try to express your feelings. You can sit together and find a suitable solution for this problem. In this way, misunderstandings are resolved and your relationships are restored.
last word
The fact that your husband prioritizes his family does not mean that he does not love you and his children. He has learned to behave like this since childhood and cannot balance his wife and family. So you should try and reduce this behavior and habit of your wife and balance your family life. You can use family counseling tips in this field and restore your relationships. A counselor can help you bring balance to your life.
Source: Avijeh
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